Pre-weekend Bitchassery

Well, it's Friday, folks. And you know what that means. It's time for Kristin to get whiny.

I'd like to start this pre-weekend post with an open message to the street musicians of New York City. Hello, Hi. Yes, I'm talking to you, sir. You. Listen up.
And when I call you a "musician", note that I use the term very loosely.

It's important you bear in mind that just because you have an instrument(say, for instance, a dirty set of bongos you pulled out of someone's trash heap on your way to the Virgin Megastore in Manhattan to get the new Coldplay album), and you decide Hey, it sure would be cool to hop a crowded subway to "entertain" people with your newfound toy, doing so does not necessarily make you musical.

In fact, standing with your back against the subway doors, drumming wildly and without any discernable rhythm, does little more than piss off your fellow riders. They just want to get on and off the goddamned train, man. Give it a rest.

Oh, and an even less bright idea? Walking up and down the aisle of aforementioned crowded subway car with your hat in your hand, expecting people to drop you some dollah bills as a way of saying "Thanks" for the "entertainment". Not gonna happen. No.

See, here's the thing. I have had a longstanding policy about giving money to strangers in New York city and you are no exception: if you want a quarter from me, you've got to earn it. That means, gather up your pals and sing some Ben E. King in 3-part harmony. Do some breakdancing. Hell, I've even given money to that kook in Times Square who dances the cha-cha with the life-sized dolly in the flouncy dress.

I will not, however, dole out my hard-earned coins to some talentless schmuck who does nothing for me on a Friday morning but add to my already pounding headache and bleary-eyed irritation with the world. So, no, sir. You will get no tip from me.

So, Billy Bongos, I suggest you take a look around you and rip some pages out of the books of some already well-established street musicians.

Take the Saw Lady, for instance.



Hey, now that's not something you see every day. I tend to, since she lives around the corner from me. But heck, you gotta start somewhere. Am I right?