Friday, October 31, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I do believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do, I do

In honor of Halloween and all its macabre trimmings, here's a questionaire I copped off somebody's blog a while ago, and kept forgetting to do it. It is, appropriately, all about death. MOOOHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I challenge all of our readers (Scooter) to ponder these questions, and answer them for yourselves. I expect my co-blogger to do them as well. And by expect, I mean, I know he won't (smell like a challenge, J?)

Here goes.

What do you think happens after you die?
I think a lot of people cry and feel like they can't live in a world where I am dead.

Do you believe in heaven?
You know, I really want to, but I can't imagine it. It just seems a little to perfect and made up by frightened humans to me.

Do you believe in hell?
No. For the same reason I don't believe in heaven. It seems too perfectly horrible.

Do you think you will be judged after you die?
Well, I certainly hope so. No one should be allowed to get away with the things I've done in my life without a little eyebrow raising and wrist-slapping.

How many people will attend your funeral?
Wow. Hundreds. A lot of people love me.

Would you rather that people cry or laugh at your funeral?
Well, I'll be dead, so I won't hear anything. But I'd much prefer they laugh. I think it might be cool to play videos of my favorite comedies, like Airplane and Dumb and Dumber, while people one by one pay respect to my cauldron of ashes. Then there should be a huge party and everyone should get very very drunk and swap stories about me. That, to me, is the perfect funeral.

What's better: A shot in the head or downing pills?
I always thought the exhaust pipe in the garage thing seemed the most humane.

What should be written on your tombstone?
She lived well, loved much and laughed until she cried. That sounds totally lame, but that's sort of me in a nutshell.

Would you rather die childless or divorced?
Well I dont think that applies, since I have a kid and I'm getting divorced. Next question.

Do you want to die in the morning, afternoon, or night?
Um, gosh. Night? It might be nice to just be really old, go to sleep and go peacefully. But then you've got the people who have to wake up to your cold, stiff body. Eeks. That's a tough one. Really.

On your deathbed, which moment will you most remember?
The birth of my daughter.

Have you ever watched someone die?
Not yet. He he he.

What's the most gruesome death you can imagine?
Being waterboarded to death. I just found out what this is. It's the sickest kind of torture ever! Also, having ones eyes gouged out with a dull pair of scissors might suck as well.

How often do you think about death?
Not that much. I kind of think of death as just transcending into another form. But that's the talk of someone who's never lost someone she really really loves.

Is fear of dying your number one fear?
Not my dying, but people I love dying.

Do you believe in reincarnation?

Have you ever wished someone you loved were dead?
A girl named Marisa who tortured me in junior high. She was vicious. I think she's the only person I really wanted to die.

Do you think you have a soul?
Yes (And I'm superbad)

Assisted suicide for a terminally ill person is:
Gentle and humane

If you were cremated, where would you like your ashes?
The mountains of upstate NY.

Would you choose to be immortal if you could be?
Dude, I already am.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Enough love for everyone.

I don't know why, but this made me really happy.
The fattest man alive just got married.

He credits his wife for helping him drop almost 500 lbs, and they seem like they are really in love.

Aw. Don't it just warm yer heart?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


I'm still regularly astounded by the amount of hatred, bigotry and downright evil in the world. Right here in the grand old US of A, even.

I guess we've been hunting down the wrong terrorists.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Kristin in the snow, part II

I still heart my co-workers.

Friday, October 17, 2008

This about sums it up

McCain does his famous "Lizard Face"

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My new favorite blog

No, it's not Turkeynecks.

List of the day

You won't be sorry.

Monday, October 13, 2008

I love "Best of Craig's List"

Full head rubber mask, old, has discoloration on white feather part from age, storage. Hey I got it on my big head, so it works that way.

Location: Acworth
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


I totally stole this from Ron.

But isn't it zzzzexy?

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Magic Bus

Now this is the only kind of soccer mom I will consent to being. One that drives this dream machine. Think of the places you could go, the journeys! The sex in the back seat! OH, it makes me feel alive just thinking about it.

Alive, I tell you!

Also, I'm getting tired of being the only one to post on this fucking blog, and I'm running out of material.