Summah in the Citeh (Or Ode To Misery)

It is so fucking hot today
My skin is all a-blister
My mood is foul, my hair is frizzed
I'm one unhappy sister.

I slathered on self-tanner
and the smell of it still lingers
it stains my clothes and leaves brown spots
between my toes and fingers.

Oh, you hateful summer
You are a mighty bitch
I want to stab you in your face
or beat you with a switch.

You suck! I mean, it's only June
I swear I'm just not ready
I'm trapped inside a fucking kiln
My boobs, they are so sweaty.