In honor of Halloween and all its macabre trimmings, here's a questionaire I copped off somebody's blog a while ago, and kept forgetting to do it. It is, appropriately, all about death. MOOOHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I challenge all of our readers (Scooter) to ponder these questions, and answer them for yourselves. I expect my co-blogger to do them as well. And by expect, I mean, I know he won't (smell like a challenge, J?)
Here goes.
What do you think happens after you die?
I think a lot of people cry and feel like they can't live in a world where I am dead.
Do you believe in heaven?
You know, I really want to, but I can't imagine it. It just seems a little to perfect and made up by frightened humans to me.
Do you believe in hell?
No. For the same reason I don't believe in heaven. It seems too perfectly horrible.
Do you think you will be judged after you die?
Well, I certainly hope so. No one should be allowed to get away with the things I've done in my life without a little eyebrow raising and wrist-slapping.
How many people will attend your funeral?
Wow. Hundreds. A lot of people love me.
Would you rather that people cry or laugh at your funeral?
Well, I'll be dead, so I won't hear anything. But I'd much prefer they laugh. I think it might be cool to play videos of my favorite comedies, like Airplane and Dumb and Dumber, while people one by one pay respect to my cauldron of ashes. Then there should be a huge party and everyone should get very very drunk and swap stories about me. That, to me, is the perfect funeral.
What's better: A shot in the head or downing pills?
I always thought the exhaust pipe in the garage thing seemed the most humane.
What should be written on your tombstone?
She lived well, loved much and laughed until she cried. That sounds totally lame, but that's sort of me in a nutshell.
Would you rather die childless or divorced?
Well I dont think that applies, since I have a kid and I'm getting divorced. Next question.
Do you want to die in the morning, afternoon, or night?
Um, gosh. Night? It might be nice to just be really old, go to sleep and go peacefully. But then you've got the people who have to wake up to your cold, stiff body. Eeks. That's a tough one. Really.
On your deathbed, which moment will you most remember?
The birth of my daughter.
Have you ever watched someone die?
Not yet. He he he.
What's the most gruesome death you can imagine?
Being waterboarded to death. I just found out what this is. It's the sickest kind of torture ever! Also, having ones eyes gouged out with a dull pair of scissors might suck as well.
How often do you think about death?
Not that much. I kind of think of death as just transcending into another form. But that's the talk of someone who's never lost someone she really really loves.
Is fear of dying your number one fear?
Not my dying, but people I love dying.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
Totally.
Have you ever wished someone you loved were dead?
A girl named Marisa who tortured me in junior high. She was vicious. I think she's the only person I really wanted to die.
Do you think you have a soul?
Yes (And I'm superbad)
Assisted suicide for a terminally ill person is:
Gentle and humane
If you were cremated, where would you like your ashes?
The mountains of upstate NY.
Would you choose to be immortal if you could be?
Dude, I already am.
Shhhh.....
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5 comments:
What do you think happens after you die?
Well, this can be answered in many ways. I think the question is asking "what happens to the part of one's person that survives death?" I like to think that there is some recognition for the actions in this life. What that recognition is, and what it means to how we should act now... that's above my pay grade.
Do you believe in heaven?
I think Heaven is a fairy tale. Why should our work end just because we die?
Do you believe in hell?
Why should our immortal beings be incapable of learning, improving, and repenting? Hell is a way to frighten stupid people into behaving.
Do you think you will be judged after you die?
I hope there is a point to all of this, yes.
How many people will attend your funeral?
Do I even want a funeral? It seems rather morbid, displaying my shriveled carcass in front of all the people that care about me. I think I will just have my body interred into this good earth by the professionals, and have my lawyer send a DVD to all of my surviving friends thanking them for being themselves.
Would you rather that people cry or laugh at your funeral?
I would rather people be able to respond to my death in a way that seems fitting to themselves.
What's better: A shot in the head or downing pills?
Well, the pills would be easier to clean up.
What should be written on your tombstone?
You are not as special as you want to be, or as mundane as you seem.
Would you rather die childless or divorced?
Divorce carries with it the stink of failure. To me, at least. Sorry, Kris... I just don't ever want to be divorced.
Do you want to die in the morning, afternoon, or night?
I can't really see how the time of day affects those tasked with cleaning up the mess in any way.
On your deathbed, which moment will you most remember?
I don't know. I guess I have led a pretty mundane life up to this point.
Have you ever watched someone die?
Everyone I meet is slowly dying.
What's the most gruesome death you can imagine?
This was a favorite of the ancient Romans. See, they would strap a poor bastard down to a raft, slather him in honey or oil, and set him adrift in the middle of a lake. Then... the flies would come. One poor bastard lingered for eighteen days.
How often do you think about death?
Seeing as I know about ancient Roman torture methods, perhaps too often.
Is fear of dying your number one fear?
Not my dying, but leaving behind my loved ones in a way that puts them at a disadvantage.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
Well, there are more bacterial cells in a human body than there are actual cells... who knows, right?
Have you ever wished someone you loved were dead?
Matthew Knapp was a jerk in high school. Unfortunately, he has a child, so I can only wish him success and good health. Bastard.
Do you think you have a soul?
I think so. It's plaid.
Assisted suicide for a terminally ill person is:
A decision that should not be dictated by the state.
If you were cremated, where would you like your ashes?
Poured into the Huron River.
Would you choose to be immortal if you could be?
I don't like answering impossible hypotheticals.
I love not being tagged!
i think scooter just called us both failures.
No, no, no... no.
If I, personally, myself, ever have to divorce, then I, personally, myself, have failed. What other choices other people make or are forced to make does not factor in the standards that I, personally, myself set for my, personal, self.
If I personally get divorced, I have personally failed myself. Other people getting divorced is not a failure on my part. Nor would I ever construe it as a failure on their part.
People have to do what is right for them selves.
Personally, I'd have been more of a failure to stay in a marriage where I was being taken advantage of, lied to and cheated on.
So yeah, I'm definitely feeling more like a winner than a loser.
But then, I kind of think now that marriage is for suckahs anyway.
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