11:11: October 2008

In honor of Halloween and all its macabre trimmings, here's a questionaire I copped off somebody's blog a while ago, and kept forgetting to do it. It is, appropriately, all about death. MOOOHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I challenge all of our readers (Scooter) to ponder these questions, and answer them for yourselves. I expect my co-blogger to do them as well. And by expect, I mean, I know he won't (smell like a challenge, J?)

Here goes.

What do you think happens after you die?
I think a lot of people cry and feel like they can't live in a world where I am dead.

Do you believe in heaven?
You know, I really want to, but I can't imagine it. It just seems a little to perfect and made up by frightened humans to me.

Do you believe in hell?
No. For the same reason I don't believe in heaven. It seems too perfectly horrible.

Do you think you will be judged after you die?
Well, I certainly hope so. No one should be allowed to get away with the things I've done in my life without a little eyebrow raising and wrist-slapping.

How many people will attend your funeral?
Wow. Hundreds. A lot of people love me.

Would you rather that people cry or laugh at your funeral?
Well, I'll be dead, so I won't hear anything. But I'd much prefer they laugh. I think it might be cool to play videos of my favorite comedies, like Airplane and Dumb and Dumber, while people one by one pay respect to my cauldron of ashes. Then there should be a huge party and everyone should get very very drunk and swap stories about me. That, to me, is the perfect funeral.

What's better: A shot in the head or downing pills?
I always thought the exhaust pipe in the garage thing seemed the most humane.

What should be written on your tombstone?
She lived well, loved much and laughed until she cried. That sounds totally lame, but that's sort of me in a nutshell.

Would you rather die childless or divorced?
Well I dont think that applies, since I have a kid and I'm getting divorced. Next question.

Do you want to die in the morning, afternoon, or night?
Um, gosh. Night? It might be nice to just be really old, go to sleep and go peacefully. But then you've got the people who have to wake up to your cold, stiff body. Eeks. That's a tough one. Really.

On your deathbed, which moment will you most remember?
The birth of my daughter.

Have you ever watched someone die?
Not yet. He he he.

What's the most gruesome death you can imagine?
Being waterboarded to death. I just found out what this is. It's the sickest kind of torture ever! Also, having ones eyes gouged out with a dull pair of scissors might suck as well.

How often do you think about death?
Not that much. I kind of think of death as just transcending into another form. But that's the talk of someone who's never lost someone she really really loves.

Is fear of dying your number one fear?
Not my dying, but people I love dying.

Do you believe in reincarnation?
Totally.

Have you ever wished someone you loved were dead?
A girl named Marisa who tortured me in junior high. She was vicious. I think she's the only person I really wanted to die.

Do you think you have a soul?
Yes (And I'm superbad)

Assisted suicide for a terminally ill person is:
Gentle and humane

If you were cremated, where would you like your ashes?
The mountains of upstate NY.

Would you choose to be immortal if you could be?
Dude, I already am.
Shhhh.....